Read John 2:13-22 and Psalm 32..
Today we turn from the Psalms of lament to the Psalms of confession. We move from talking about what has been done to us and instead take a hard look at what we have done instead.
Now, there are generally two responses I’ve found to the prayers of confession. There are those who have trouble believing that they will really get a new beginning. They say "You don't understand what I did." or "I don't know how anyone can forgive me." They think that whatever they have done is beyond what they can accept forgiveness from.
Then there are those who assume that they have nothing to confess. Not really. They haven’t done anything really bad, so confession is just not really for them.
But both responses are missing the point. None of us are perfect, that’s part of being human, and so we all have gotten it wrong sometimes. We have done something we know we shouldn’t have, said things we shouldn’t have. We have all had times when we know we should have acted and didn’t. All of us have fallen short of living the way of life God calls us to live. We know we can do better.
And everyone has something weighing on our hearts, don’t we? Noel Coward, the famous playwright, is thought to have once pulled an interesting prank. He supposedly sent an identical note to ten of the most famous men in London. The anonymous note read simply: "We know what you have done. If you don't want to be exposed, leave town." Within six months, they had all left town. On a prank. Because they all had something they knew they couldn’t have come to light.
Now what if you opened your mail one day and found such a note? Is there something that would immediately spring to your mind? We all carry guilt. That’s why we have confession.
I think this Psalm is so powerful because we, like our predecessors of thousands of years ago, still bear heavy internal loads of guilt and remorse for what we have done or thought we have done. We need to recover the sense, that a new start is possible; that we don't have to be tethered to the losses, anger, bitterness and defeat of past days. Our Psalm is living proof that a person can "get beyond" the things that tormented him.
By acknowledging our sins, by admitting them to God and ourselves, we find God's forgiveness. This is by no means an easy thing to ask of anyone. Admitting our sins makes them more real. It brings all that shame to the forefront again. But if we do, we can get beyond what we have done or said and find a new beginning.
Because after a while our actions weigh us down, like a millstone around our necks. We feel in debt, as if we owe the person we have sinned against or the world in general. We come to know ourselves first and foremost as sinners. Our mistakes can begin to define us and shape how we relate to the world. We become no more and no less than what we’ve done, the mistakes we’ve made, the debt we owe.
It is a heavy feeling that weighs on every moment of our lives. We see it in the prodigal on his long walk home to admit his folly and beg for mercy. We feel it in the pit of our stomach when we know our words or actions hurt someone else. And yet at the same time, we also desire a restored relationship. We want things to be right again and it plagues us until we are.
Now, in this psalm, it takes three lines to confess and one line for God to forgive. All of the agony, the torment, was all in the head of the psalmist, because he knew he had broken his relationship with God. The agony was not knowing how God would respond, how God would treat him afterwards.
In the moment of confession, we are more vulnerable than at any other time. We have turned away and have returned, like that prodigal son, and our relationship and future lies in the hands of another. The only repair is grace offered by another. We can do nothing else but stand before God and hope that God’s mercy is wider than God’s anger.
And then we are forgiven, and everything of that changes. We are set free to become not just someone who has sinned, but who God has called us to be. We are set free of the burden and the guilt and the self recrimination. It is an amazing relief.
And that is precisely what the Psalmist promises in response to the heartfelt, genuine confession: relief from the burden and release from the sense of guilt. That’s why the confession of sin is such an important part of learning to trust in God. As long as we hold back, as long as we refuse to acknowledge who we really are and what we’ve done, there must be some doubt in our minds about whether God really accepts us.
But when we stop fooling ourselves and let go of the burden, we find God’s love embracing us, God’s grace abounding, God’s mercy healing us. When we make ourselves vulnerable by approaching God with the confessions of all that we have done, and more, what we have left undone, and then experience not condemnation or rejection but acceptance and love and forgiveness, we walk away from that experience with a stronger sense of trust in the one who has embraced us.
There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father. On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.
We all seek forgiveness and love. And here God is offering it with both hands, but we cannot get there without first confession. Without facing what we have done, large or small, and honestly confessing it to God, and to the people we’ve wronged.
This psalm begins with an important Hebrew word, asher. We translated it as happy, or blessed, but in Hebrew it is not a feeling or a condition, but a way of life (Hebrew "to go straight"). There is intention and determination in this word. It is the path of life chosen and lived. That is what we can get to, but only after we confess the times when we were not following God’s path.
So this week in our lenten journey, take some time to own up to the things that are heavy on your heart. Speak to God about what troubles you. Talk to someone who you are at odds with. And find the joy of the forgiveness that God is waiting to offer you.
